Gambling Apps to Allow Users to Contact Athletes
Published February 2022LAS VEGAS, NV – Several of the largest sports betting apps will soon allow users to contact individual athletes directly through the app.
Las Vegas Amends Laws, Attractions to Lure Visitors
Published March 2010LAS VEGAS, NV – With Las Vegas struggling to attract tourists, the city and its business leaders have begun to make changes that will hopefully bring more people to the city.
Man Not Getting As Big a Refund As He Thought
Published February 2009QUEENS, NY – For the seventh consecutive year, Jason Corgan, 29, will not be getting as much of a tax refund as he was expecting. Corgan, who figured that he would be receiving about four thousand dollars from the government this year, will actually only be getting back $37.
Telethon Raises No Money For Charity
Published February 2009LAS VEGAS, NV – A recent telethon has gone down in the record books as the worst telethon in the history of televised money drives. The telethon, benefiting the Don Ot Center for Lupus Research did not bring in a single penny during the two day telethon.
Las Vegas Casino Adds Blew Man Group Show
Published February 2009LAS VEGAS, NV – The Excalibur Hotel and Casino is set to debut the highly anticipated new show, the Blew Man Group. The show features four men, painted head to toe in blue paint, giving each other blow jobs.
Wynn Adding Giant Masturbation Coliseum to Las Vegas Resort
Published February 2008LAS VEGAS, NV – Resort developer Steve Wynn is planning a new feature to add to his Wynn Las Vegas Resort and Country Club that he is describing as “the first of its kind.” The feature, currently dubbed “The Spankdome,” will be a giant coliseum where entrants will be allowed to masturbate freely anywhere in the building.
OnStar Offering Subscribers Several New Services
Published April 2007DETROIT, MI – To increase subscribers, the driver assistance system OnStar will be unveiling several new features aimed at easing the life of drivers world wide. One of the first new systems to be implemented will be a service to help drivers identify good, out-of-the-way places to bury dead bodies.
"Have More Sex" Tops 2006's Most Popular Resolutions
Published December 2005NEW YORK, NY – According to a recent poll, for the first time in almost 30 years losing weight is not among the top 10 New Years resolutions for Americans. The poll, conducted by People Magazine, included 750,000 Americans from all over the country, and shockingly the number one response was “Have more sex.”
Bush Offers Alternative Social Security Plan: Bet It All On Black
Published January 2005WASHINGTON, D.C. – With the debate about the future of Social Security reaching a boiling point, President Bush announced a new plan late last week that was immediately accepted by both parties.
God Reveals His Picks For Upcoming Championships
Published May 2002DES MOINES, IA – During a press conference given to the Sports Writers Guild of America, God announced the sports teams that he will be “pulling for” this year. The announcement came as a surprise to sportswriters all over the country, as previously, God’s dealings in the sports world were held secret until the championship game where he is thanked by the winning team.